Alpha Magazine

As one of its New Year’s resolutions, alongside “get off the sofa occasionally’” and “do something about the situation in Afghanistan”, the Bucket sucked his pencil and wrote down “less sarcasm”. Because, as he’s found out to bitter cost in arguments with Mrs Bucket, sarcasm can be cruel. And, really,…

Last night, thanks to widespread incompetence, a young Australian child was bundled out of the Australian Open tennis. Bernard Tomic, 4, was playing a match he surely could have won, if only organisers had scheduled it between 12 and 4pm, including a special break so he could have a feed…

Now that time has reduced the playing career of Javed Miandad to the word “legend” and a collection of pretty good stats, it’s easy to forget just what a total arse he could be when he was playing – bad-tempered, argumentative, disruptive, arrogant… And even now he’s long retired, he’s…

Alpha‘s uploading monkeys have been earning every single peanut recently, giving you, the patient reader lots more stuff to chew on. As well as additions to the Features section, there are all-new pics of beautiful Alpha Females Katya Crema and Felicity Abram. Go on, check it all out, lucky people.

Sometimes, man stares into the abyss and wonders why. If he’s lucky, the abyss has an answer, like, “Because it’s there” or “because it’s a pie – eat it, you idiot”. But other times, the man just wants to know the meaning, the point, the reason for something, and there…

Alpha’s Tom Woodgate writes… A Socceroos team made up of mostly domestic A-League players battled to a very credible 2-2 draw in Kuwait last night, all but assuring safe passage to next year’s Asian Cup in Dubai. Whether any of them have put themselves in Pim’s thoughts for a plane…

Although the London Olympics don’t start for two whole years, according to my big ticking Olympics watch, Australia’s biggest prospect and finest athlete (it says here) Jana Rawlinson, has started her preparations early. For years, the season of the Games has been marked by a seemingly endless series of comedy…

Yeah, but no, but seriously now. Is this Tiger thing the weirdest story in the history of sport, if not the world, or what? At the risk of saying tsunami, this is the gutter-media tsunami. The tabloids can’t keep up. It’s like the Cookie Monster got delivered three truck-loads of…

As the hype from draft week dies down and players get acquainted with their new clubs, Alpha looks at the top five picks and rates their potential. Do you agree with our comments? What else do you know about these players? Get typing and let us know what you think.…